that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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