Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
