I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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