What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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