I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
