Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
