Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
