I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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