It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
