i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
