We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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