I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
