at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
