How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
