She's JV to your varsity
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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