I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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