I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
ttyl tear gas
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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