do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
