Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
