i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
