She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You peed on a flamingo?!?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
