Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I've blown a few things in my day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
