I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
