For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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