There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
