it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
