I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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