who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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