I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
