Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
