a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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