I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
