Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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