I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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