hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
