I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
