Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
