My balls are so social today.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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