im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize