they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
