As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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