I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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