Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
