I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
