I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
