i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
