I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
