he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
