Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
