Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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