It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
