This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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